Mother-Enmeshed Men: Why Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Hide His Needs In A Relationship?

What a man could find, that’s if he was to take a step back and reflect on his life, is that he ignores his needs when he is in a relationship. As a result of this, he will act as though he doesn’t have needs. In the beginning, this can be something that allows him to feel good but, as time passes, behaving in this way can cause him to feel angry and resentful.

A big difference this can then mean that he will be very easy-going and happy for a little while and end up being passive-aggressive and unhappy soon after. Most likely, this will just be something that takes place as opposed to how he has consciously chosen to behave. But, considering the fact that he would have neglected himself for however long, this is to be expected.

He won’t have been happy about what was going on and this will have been made clear indirectly. Confusion if this is what takes place, it can mean that his partner would have wondered what was going on; it can be as if he had become someone else entirely. He would have looked the same but he simply won’t have been the same person.

Naturally, people change as time goes by in a relationship but there is a big difference between being one person at one stage and another person entirely at another stage. There will be two people in the relationship but he will act as though he is just an extension of his partner. This could be the first time he has been in a relationship and thus, doesn’t have anything to compare it to.

Enough’s enough now, regardless of whether he is or isn’t in a relationship and has or hasn’t been in this position before, he is likely to want to know what is going on. The reason for this is that if he wasn’t in a relationship, he wouldn’t be focused on someone else’s needs. The connection what could stand out at this point is that how he is with a woman with who he is in a relationship with, is how he is with his mother.

In both instances, he will lose touch with himself and be totally focused on what is going on for them. As his relationship with his mother was the first relationship that he had with a woman, taking a closer look at what his relationship was like with her during his early years is likely to shed light on what is going on. The view that he has deep down, of what women are like, will have primarily been shaped by her.

If he ever expressed his needs, he most likely would have been punished, disapproved of and/or abandoned. This would have trained him to ignore himself and to be there for others. A big risk many, many years will have passed since he was a child but at a deeper level, expressing his needs will still be seen as something that would cause him to be harmed and/or abandoned.

Hiding his needs is then going to cause him to suffer but revealing them will be seen as being far worse. For his life to change, he will need to question what he believes and to resolve the trauma that he is likely to be carrying from this stage of his life. Unsurprisingly, this is not something that will take place overnight; it will take patience and persistence.

This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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