Repetition Compulsion: Why Would Someone Repeat The Past?

Apparently, it wasn’t that long ago that this bear was in a cage and didn’t have the freedom that it does now. This bear’s environment had then changed but its behaviour had stayed the same. A crazy scenario it would be easy to reflect on this and to think “wow, this bear is not very clever” and “if it was more intelligent, it would be able to see what is going on and to change its behaviour.

No, it is likely to be far more subtle than that and this is why it can go under the radar, so to speak. Another element furthermore, if they have behaved in a certain way for more or less their whole life, they might not even notice this behaviour. This is going to mean that it will be normal; thereby preventing them from questioning what is going on.

What can also play a part in this is that they can live in a society where what they are doing is a common occurrence. Therefore, if they are not aware of what is going on, it is unlikely that anyone around them will say anything. One more to top it all off, this could be someone who is extremely ‘intelligent’ and have numerous qualifications.

This can make it hard to accept that they would behave in a way that is not serving them. At this point, it would be easy to wonder: how could someone like this behave in this way if they actually are intelligent? the question that could also arise at this point is: is there more than one kind of intelligence? the same pattern when it comes to what someone can do that doesn’t serve them, there are numerous examples. If they were able to take a step back and to reflect on their life, they could see that they are continually attracted to people who are not available and, even when they know that someone is not available, they keep going back to them.

Yet, if they do respond in this way, it will be important for them to keep in mind that this doesn’t mean that they are stupid or that there is something inherently wrong with them. What it will simply show is that they have a mind that is very good at deceiving them and precluding them from developing self-awareness in the process. The right education additionally, there is a strong chance that they didn’t learn about how their mind works whilst they were in the education system.

When it comes to what they learned, this would have probably been what would benefit ‘the system’, not what would allow them to gain a deeper understanding of themselves, to develop self-awareness and to heal their inner wounds. Without a doubt, if the education taught these three things, it wouldn’t take long until there was a massive shift on this earth. With these understandings, more and more people would be able to be the change that they want to see in the world as opposed to trying to change the world, whilst being in a complete a mess themselves.

Going deeper anyway, for one to understand why they would behave in ways that don’t serve them, it will be necessary for them to understand that they have both a conscious and an unconscious mind. When it comes to the latter, this part of them is not only hidden, but it is also far more powerful than the former and it can want different things. This part of them will reveal what is going on but that doesn’t mean that any of it will make sense to their conscious mind, at least in the beginning.

Back in time if one can see that they have the inclination to be drawn to people who are unavailable and, once they know someone is like this, they go back to them, it is likely to illustrate that part of them is trying to resolve a situation from their past. Many years will have passed since that time but their emotional/child self has no sense of time and will still be trying to receive what it didn’t receive all those years ago. This part of them won’t give up until it receives what it missed out on.

A compulsion this part is not concerned about how much pain this behaviour is causing them; it is possessed by its need to finally receive what it missed out on. All the suffering that this behaviour has caused will show them that this is the case. Another part of this is that even though this part of them will want to receive what it missed out on, it will also fear receiving it.

What this comes down to is that as painful as their early years were, it would have been associated as what is familiar, and what is familiar is classed as what is safe to their ego-mind. A new beginning thus, as crazy as it is to endlessly behave in a way that does no good whatsoever, what makes it even crazier is that this part also fears the very thing that it is trying to receive. Having said that, it is through this process of repeating the past that it is possible for one to become aware of what it is that they need to heal so that they can become more integrated and whole.

The trouble is, of course, is that if one is not aware of what is going on they won’t be able to make use of the information that their external world is providing them. Awareness on one level, there is the behavioural pattern that is not serving them, and, at a deeper level, there is the emotional pain that is keeping this pattern in place. For their life to change, they will need to get in touch with this pain and to work through it.

By working through this pain, their need to behave in a certain way will gradually subside. This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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